November 26, 2002 | 10:56 AM

In fourth grade began the all-encompassing romance of my pre-adolescent years.

Jefferey Abomovitz.

His hair was the color of wheat and his eyes were bright amethysts dazzling behind thick black glasses.

Our affair began in the Fall of 1987. We met in a production of an original musical at the Ida Hart Theater in Rochester NY. The play was entitled Liberty Invasion and centered around the lives of world war two era vacationers at a Catskills Resort.

I played a Jewish refugee orphan named Malka. I got to sing an entire song in Yiddish and learn some German (my character didn�t speak any English). For a ten-year-old, it was a pretty demanding role.

Jefferey played a snotty rich kid enjoying a summer holiday.

The two of us became fast friends during rehearsal and before I knew it, he was calling me every day. We would talk on the phone for upwards of two hours a night, much to the chagrin of my mother.

Jefferey and I read William Blake to each other (no I�m not kidding, we really did.) and watched episodes of Thundercats. It was heaven.

Eventually we started going on dates�I remember we saw �Willow� on opening day and Jefferey actually held my hand during the movie(!) I can�t remember ever feeling so thrilled. Another favorite past time was bowling. A couple weekends a month we�d head over to Brighton Lanes and slurp cherry coke, throw gutter balls, and play skee-ball.

It was the most perfect relationship I have ever had.

Jefferey was my best friend and he liked to kiss me. We understood each other, dug each other, couldn�t get enough of being around each other. What more could you ask for?

This went on for two years, during which time we performed in several plays together and grew ever closer.

And then one day, he just stopped calling. No explanation. No cause. We hadn�t gotten into a fight. I wasn�t making any new demands on him. Nothing had changed, and yet suddenly everything was different.

I started following him around like a puppy, asking him if anything was wrong, if he still liked me. He brushed me off and told me everything was fine�he was just busy.

Liar.

I found out he�d been calling Sarah Feinstein and asking her to go bowling. Of course she wasn�t interested in him. She liked soccer players.

I was heartbroken. I had lost Jefferey forever.

So I made it my business to screw over the next person I got involved with. I went on a heart breaking rampage after Jefferey.

Poor Whitney. He didn�t know what the hell he was in for.