October 01, 2002 | 12:05 PM

Tara cut my hair yesterday and it is by far the best haircut I have ever received in my entire life. I�m not just saying that because I know she�s reading this either. It really and truly is the best fucking haircut of all time. It has bounce and flair. It swings. It brings out my cheek bones and makes my face look less round.

This morning I put on that dress again�the classy black lycra a line knee length one, and some plum lip stick, and I looked in the mirror and for the several-eth time in a two week span, gasped.at my reflection.

Because I am starting to look like a totally different person.

I think that I may be turning into one of the pretty girls.

(On the outside anyway)

Truly truly frightening. Weight is just pouring off of me. I�m on day 14 of the cleanse and going very strong. Bought the parasite cleanse stuff too which I should get in the mail within a week. And then it�s just the liver cleanse. And then I�ll be good as new..

At this rate boys and girls, in a fortnight�s time I will be a superhero.

Here are some very important things you should know.

1) I think I like Beck�s cover of Diamond Dogs better than I like the original.

2) I want to have sex with David Bowie and Beck. At the same time.

3) I really want to buy the new Beck album.

4) David Bowie keeps getting hotter and hotter as he gets older. So does Beck.

5) When I was a kid I fell madly in love with David Bowie as The Goblin King in Labyrinth and many of my budding sexual fantasies at the age of 10 or 11 revolved around him.

6) Other childhood sexual fantasies involved Superman, Wonder Woman, Pa from Little House on the Prairie, Madonna, Cyndi Lauper, the characters from The Secret of NIMH, and Christopher Reeves, who to this day causes me to cream all over the place with his performance in Somewhere in Time the world�s sappiest film. God Christopher Reeves was fucking beautiful.

I am just in such a fucking great mood despite my sexual frustration and other reoccurring sadness.

I should write a book on how to go from Sylvia Plath to Mary Tyler Moore in less than two months.