September 25, 2002 | 8:20 PM

Ten minutes ago I was sitting on my bed rocking back and forth while listening to music (so what else is new)�specifically to the song, Just the Night In My Veins by The Pretenders and the strangest thing happened.

All of a sudden what felt like a bolt of electricity shot up my spine and then seemed to ripple outward through my whole body. And I had this crystal clear image in my head of myself at about 140 lbs. dancing in a short black dress. And I suddenly just knew that in about a year�s time, that�s what I�m going to look like and that�s how much I�m going to weigh. Just the same way that in a moment of clarity after getting laid off from the Stupid Company, I knew I�d be working for Harvard and back in college within a year.

It�s weird because I�ve just been completely interested in natural healing and health and mind/body bullshit blah blah blah and not at all concerned about outer appearance. There was a time in fact shortly before I moved when all hell broke loose during which I realized and accepted that no matter what I was always going to be unattractive and heavy and that�s just the way it is. And after a brief mourning period over the loss of dreams of skinniness and loveability I just accepted it and chose to focus my energy on other things. And oddly enough um, kind of learned to like myself and the way I looked, even if nobody else did.

But now, now that I have divorced myself from being so dependent on those fantasies�now that I have become more independent and honest with myself, it�s gotten very very easy.

We�ll see�but I bet you that in a year�s time I�ll be at karaoke in a size ten ripping up the floor and breaking some poor bastard�s heart.