September 09, 2002 | 4:28 PM

Guess what?

There's talk of lay offs at work.

At a university.

I'ven been told my job is "reasonably safe compared to many other people's jobs."

I've also been told that we all need to clean our offices and dress more professionally and that I haven't been as "cheerful" around the office as I used to be and that maybe I should try being more "cheerful" again because layoffs are coming and I want the right people in my corner.

Layoffs.

At a university.

Where NOBODY gets laid off.

Nothing is sacred anymore.

If I am laid off from this job I will not have a home.

This after I fucking spent hours and hours yesterday at home on my own time with that stupid database.

This has been the worst day I've had in a long long time.

Maybe I should ask my shrink for a higher dose of antidepressants so that I am more cheerful around here.

Sometimes I really fucking hate being a grown-up.

OK-- shut up. Shut up and grit your teeth and remind yourself how lucky you are.

Gee-- oddly enough that's not working right now.

Off I go to Job #2.