June 20, 2002 | 3:15 PM

Something extraordinarily strange has happened to me.

I have absolutely and completely lost my desire for sex.

Not only have I lost my desire for it, the very thought of the act or anything pertaining to it makes me shudder with disgust.

The intimacy and the violence and the level of communication and the possibility of exploitation�it�s just too fucking heavy for me. I�ve always had a healthy level of Eros and a strong desire for sexual/sensual connection, but my lust factor has left the building.

Sex has really never done me any good. I associate it with longings that can�t be filled and betrayal and neediness and rejection and a naked emotional vulnerability that I don�t think I will ever be willing to experience again.

I have always taken sex very seriously. I�ve never been one of those people who is just in it for the screw. There is something wholly dishonest and self-defeating in that. I understand that some people don�t see it that way, and morally I have no qualms about promiscuity or sex for the sake of sex, but for me to really enjoy it, there has to be something profound there�not necessarily love, but something true and meaningful. Some bridge of understanding between two people that goes beyond, �Hey you�ve got a great ass.�

This sin�t to say that I don�t like things dirty, �cause I do. But that�s besides the point.

I am in dire need of some um... sexual healing, I guess. It�s unfortunate for me that the men I am attracted to are all emotionally unavailable which precludes the kind of emptiness I now associate with sex.

Grand.

Get thee to a nunnery and all that jazz.