June 16, 2002 | 11:11 AM

I had such a lovely evening yesterday. Gut busting laughter and wine in ruby glasses. Movies based on Henry James novels and gourmet pizza. The sharing of secrets and reminiscing over old photos.

Thank you so much Michelle, you are exactly what I needed.

A glimpse into the future.

I am not the same person I was two days ago.

I look back on the past six years with a new lens.

So much I want to say. I�ll scrawl it on paper and lock it in a drawer. There is a part of myself for now I want to keep secret. A part I need to keep safe and sovereign until I leave this place in six weeks.

Only six weeks. And then I am completely free.