May 22, 2002 | 4:45 PM

When you don't really know what you want from life, any romantic relationship is nothing more than a diversion from the business at hand.

If you aren't learning or challenging yourself or growing as a human being, your relationships become toxic, or at the very least inert.

I think this is probably why so many people freak out after ten or so years of being married to someone and get a divorce. It seems like most people see romance as an escape from real life-- a sanctuary if you will, as though it's someone else's job to protect you.

Relationships should encourage self exploration or at the very least do nothing to discourage it.

If you can't say, "Here's what I want from life. These are my goals." then you really have no business getting all up in someone else's shit.

Another obvious lesson brought to you by the SAGA.