May 16, 2002 | 10:03 PM

Here�s a nice ironic little footnote to the SAGA.

You remember how crazy and bizarre all of my apartment situations have been? You remember how basically my entire aim in life over the past six years has been to find a nice safe loving home environment?

Well today I got a letter from Harvard saying John and I won the housing lottery to have a nice, safe, low rent, beautiful one bedroom in Cambridge. See, this should have been the happy ending to my story. John and I working through whatever we needed to work through, realizing how much we love each other, and moving as adults into a home of our own.

Instead, I am offered an apartment that would be absolutely affordable for a couple, but out of my reach as a single person. And that is what I am now�a single person.

So now after years of hunting for this kind of stability, I have to turn it down.

No boyfriend.

No safe, loving, beautiful, cheap one bedroom apartment in a quasi-progressive sweet sweet area of the city.

If I live in Boston next year I�ll be in some stupid hell hole with a bunch of dumb assholes I don�t even know.

Fuck you, life. You suck.