May 13, 2002 | 10:39 AM

Mmmmm...

Do you know who else I love?

Steve Mcqueen.

Jesus Christicle.

Steve McQueen may be the most attractive man to have ever walked the planet. And the coolest. And the baddest. The lines on his face are a map of steely hurt and those blue eyes emit desire and needs unmet and bottomless rage.

You don�t know whether he�s gonna kiss you or punch a hole in the wall.

He�s tough but vulnerable and crazy by a half.

My type exactly.

I think it�s almost time for a Steve McQueen movie marathon.

The car chase in Bullitt just may be my favorite action sequence in movie history. It�s like great sex. First there�s the flirtation and the dance and it escalates and escalates as the two cars race up and down the hills of San Francsico and then there�s the climax of screeching wheels and Steve, satisfied, riding away into the sunset in his fuckin� mac daddy jag.

And I love that scene in The Sand Pebbles after Steve kills that poor tortured man just to put him out of his misery. And Steve breaks down and sobs and it�s like his whole body is trying to keep the sob inside but it�s this wave that overcomes him. I love it when big strong hard men break down and lose their shit. It is the biggest turn on to me in the entire world. Is that evil? I love finding vulnerability in seemingly invulnerable people. I mean, if a guy comes across like a nice sweet guy on the surface, I�m not usually interested. He has to be kind of a bastard, exuding hints that beneath the tough facade there is really this kind, loving human being and all he needs is the right woman to discover the reserves of sensitivity and brilliance.

This is probably why I don�t have a lot of success with men. Because this is of course an illusion. When men act like total fuckwits, they usually are just that. Case closed.

Anyway, where was I?

Ah yes. Steve McQueen.

God I adored him in Love with the Proper Stranger, when he knocks up Natalie Wood and she�s gonna get an abortion but then they fall in love and get married. I love it when he says to her,

Wow. What happened to you? In that dress you look like a...woman.

I love the way his mouth curls around the word woman, like he�s unpacking all that femininity implies to reveal the wildness at the core.

And oh golly the motorcycle scene in the The Great Escape when he jumps the wall. And you know he�s gonna make it but what if he doesn�t?

And of course the Sam Peckinpah classic, The Getaway co-starring another crush of mine, Ali McGraw.

I love how they�re so troubled but so in love with each other. I love that Steve is so brutal and and vulnerable and crazy and on top of things.

What a nasty, gritty, dirty, sexy film.

They don�t make �em like that anymore.

They don�t make �em like Steve anymore either.

In other news, tonight I am hanging out with Angus.

I hope he is in kind, caring compassionate Angus mode as opposed to being in selfish pissy needy Angus mode. I�ve certainly nursed him through a million breakups. I�ve certainly held his hand and listened to him cry about how he�ll never fall in love again.

I need a little kindness and a little tenderness right now. And a little hand holding and a lot of Chianti.

time capsule from heaven - Sunday, Aug. 21, 2011
31 - Saturday, Mar. 15, 2008
Dead/Alive - Monday, Mar. 10, 2008
Do not trustTIAA-CREF-- they are fucking their customers - Friday, Jul. 28, 2006
Shilling - Tuesday, Jul. 11, 2006

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