May 12, 2002 | 5:41 PM

When things are hard I stay around for the music. All of it. Like yesterday when I lolled around on the carpet in pajamas, slurping down vodka-crans like they was water, and singing along to Jonathon Richman.

He�s stoned, hippy Johhny

But I�m straight and I want ta take his place

Right now I have such a goopy doe eyed crush thing for Jonathon Richman . I wish he was my boyfriend and I could make him a big spaghetti dinner and take him shopping for flatware and give him the greatest blowjob of all time because I have never ever loved a rock star as much as I love him right now.

I love that he wrote the greatest two chord road trip rocker ever and I love that he wrote a song about how his hipper than thou �New York Girl Friend� couldn�t dig why he loves his parents so much. I love that he composed an ode to Government Center office workers, and I love that he recognizes Pablo Picasso as the quintessential chic magnet of the 20th century. I love his throaty froggy voice and his sincere goofiness. He�s the nice sweet boy you can totally take home to Mom and Dad, but he wears a leather jacket and kisses you so hard he leaves bruises.

Man I wanna fuck Jonathon Richman.

And I am listening to the first Modern Lovers album on repeat baby.