April 23, 2002 | 2:38 PM

8I) ## Harvard Ave

Monday, October 30th, 2000 begins just like any other Monday. John and I stumble out of bed around 11:00AM and get ready for work. We argue over who used who�s toothpaste and get in each others� way as we pull on the same clothes we always wear and say the same things we always say.

Neither of us enjoys waking up and going to work together.

We leave the apartment around noon.

As we walk down Harvard Ave towards the T, John sprints ahead, occasionally glancing back towards me with an expression of extreme irritation.

Come on. We�ll miss the train!

When we get on the B line, there aren�t any seats. We stand next to each other, not speaking. There will be enough to speak about at work�projects and interviewers and promotions and scheduling and other Stupid Company anecdotes that have taken the place of real conversation.

I stand clutching the metal bar and staring out the window at the leaves blowing down Commonwealth Avenue. I think about waking up two years ago in John�s tiny dorm room, on his narrow dorm room bed. I think about making love to him on those golden mornings. I remember looking out the window down on lilac tree lined Beacon Street, feeling satiated and satisfied as he played with my hair. I remember walking him to class and kissing him in the Garden, counting the hours until I would see him again.

I remember how it felt to be so loved and safe and secure. How it felt to adore and respect someone so much.

I want to shake him right there on the train. I want to say,

Why? Why did you give up on yourself so easily? Why did you give up on me? On us? Why did you have to drop everything and ruin it by working at the Stupid Company? Don�t you even love me anymore? What am I to you? What do you want from life? Do you even fucking care?

But I don�t.

I just look out the window as the leaves blow by tumbling towards an unknown destination.

When we get to The Stupid Company, I notice right away that something is very very wrong.

The office is dead quiet except for the clacking of fingers on keyboards. Everyone is in their respective offices/cubicles. It is as though they are hiding.

The first thing I see when I walk back into the phone room is Mike�s face. He looks devastated.

Mike, what�s going on?

He is uncharacteristically silent for a moment.

Maybe you better ask Angus that.

A litany of horrors runs through my mind. Something terrible happened to Angus�s family. Something happened to his girlfriend Emma. Angus was robbed. Or hurt in some way.

At that moment, Angus walks back into the phone room. There is a wan smile on his face. He sits down at the desk in the supervisor�s office. For a moment he puts his head in his hands. John, Mike, and I all wait for him to speak.

He looks up and clears his throat.

I�ve left you guys a note about what needs to be done on all the current projects in the field. I�ve also left you information on how to do some CATI related stuff you don�t know. Collin and Seth will be able to answer any questions you have as well.

I stare at him, not comprehending.

Angus, what are talking about?

He looks directly at me with the kindest, sweetest gaze I have ever seen. His green gray eyes are soft and unflinching.

I�m leaving in about three minutes. And I�m not coming back.

I still don�t get it.

What? Do you have a doctor�s appointment or something?

No. I mean I�m not ever coming back here again.

John, Mike, and I are momentarily quiet. John asks Angus,

Did you quit?

Angus speaks in a level emotionless tone.

No. I was told that my position doesn�t exist anymore. That I no longer work here and need to leave. I�ve been um, downsized.

For possibly the hundredth time in the past week, my jaw drops. My hands fly to my face and I shake my head no over and over. John walks over to Angus and puts his hand on Angus�s shoulder.

Angus, I am so sorry. That�s horrible.

John is nearly crying and so am I.

I walk over to Angus and I give him a hug. I can�t manage any words. I am overwhelmed by grief. It feels like someone has died.

Angus hugs me gingerly and then pulls away.

Now, you guys don�t have to worry. I asked about your jobs and I was told that the three of you are set. They want to talk to all of you today. They�ll probably be calling you into the office in the next few minutes.

I sit dumbstruck, thinking about all the times I wished Angus would just leave the Stupid Company so I wouldn�t have to deal with him anymore. I think about all the times I�ve argued with him over policies and procedures. I think about all the times I�ve bitched to Lynn about Angus�s Commandant style of management, and about how he loses stuff and forgets important pieces of information.

And then I think about how Angus fought to save the phone room, to save everyone�s jobs. I think about how he gives the interviewers so many chances. I think about how much he feels for people behind his gruff exterior.

I think about the hours we used to spend talking in some downtown hole in the wall, or at his apartment. I think about the way he used to look at me.

Just as I am about to full on sob, Angus says,

OK. I have to leave now. I don�t think there�s anything else to say.

Oh but there is. There is.

He turns to me just before he walks out the door. He brushes away the tear that is threatening to make itself known.

Hey. Hey Anna. There�s no reason to cry.

I try to smile but I can�t.

You�re my friend. I�ve known your forever�before all this. We�re still gonna see each other. We�ll have dinner and everything. Chin up. It�s not so bad. I�m glad to be out of here. It�s time, you know?

I nod my head.

Angus walks out of the phone room door for the last time.

I run to the bathroom and I choke back sob after sob.

Fuck the fucking Stupid Company. Fuck them and fuck them some more. I look in the mirror at my angry, puffy, tear streaked face. I whisper to myself,

Oh Angus. I am so god damned sorry. I am so sorry for everything.

I take a few deep breaths and walk back into the hall.

On my way to the phone room, I run into Seth. He seems stricken and sad, the closest to crying I�ve ever seen him come. He speaks quietly.

Hey. Did you hear about Angus?

I nod my head. Seth looks at me mournfully.

What do you think.

My voice is much louder than I mean it to be.

What do I think? I think it fucking sucks. I think it�s the lamest most asinine thing I�ve ever heard in my entire fucking life.

Seth murmurs,

Yeah. I know.

I storm back into the phone room. John isn�t there. Mike is sitting at a desk staring blankly at a computer screen. He looks up at me.

Hey, did you have your talk with BigPeter and LonnieMcMormon yet?

No, have you?

Mike nods and rolls his eyes.

Yeah, I get to be the daytime supervisor. I guess there are going to be two supervisors. One in the day and one in the night.

I stare at him.

Two supervisors? But there�s three of us. They told Angus that all of us were all set.

Mike shrugs his shoulders.

At that moment John strides back into the room with a huge smile on his face. He kisses me on the cheek and says,

I just had my meeting with LonnieMcMormon and BigPeter.

My voice is flat.

And?

It�s all good. They want to see you now, honey.

My lip trembles.

I don�t want to talk to them.

John laughs.

You have nothing to worry about. Everything�s gonna be great I promise. They told me that you�re all set.

My voice shakes.

I don�t care if I�m all set. This whole thing is fucking ridiculous.

John rolls his eyes.

Just go, honey. Everything�s gonna be fine.

I sigh and take baby steps towards BigPeter�s executive office. What do I have to say right now to these people? These people who swore none of the supervisors were going to lose their jobs? And why is John smiling so broadly when someone just got canned? What did they tell him about me that makes him so happy? They told Angus that John, Mike and I were all set, but there are only two supervisor positions.

I figure that this is what EvilRene was referring to when she told me I could go really far at this company, that I�m doing a phenomenal job. They�re going to promote me out of the phone room on the same day they canned Angus. The whole thing makes me sick.

I knock on BigPeter�s door and walk in to find he and LonnieMcMormon sitting on the same side of BigPeter�s desk. BigPeter gestures to the chair across from them.

Hi Anna. Please take a seat.

BigPeter looks grave and tired.

But LonnieMcMormon is grinning from ear to ear.

Stay Tuned For Part The Fifty-Seventh...

(This is my second SAGA entry of the day, so check out the last one if you�re interested)

As soon as you're born they make you feel small

By giving you no time instead of it all

Till the pain is so big you feel nothing at all

A working class hero is something to be

A working class hero is something to be

They hurt you at home and they hit you at school

They hate you if you're clever and they despise a fool

Till you're so fucking crazy you can't follow their rules

A working class hero is something to be

A working class hero is something to be

When they've tortured and scared you for twenty odd years

Then they expect you to pick a career

When you can't really function you're so full of fear

A working class hero is something to be

A working class hero is something to be

Keep you doped with religion and sex and TV

And you think you're so clever and classless and free

But you're still fucking peasants as far as I can see

A working class hero is something to be

A working class hero is something to be

There's room at the top they are telling you still

But first you must learn how to smile as you kill

If you want to be like the folks on the hill

A working class hero is something to be

A working class hero is something to be

If you want to be a hero well just follow me

If you want to be a hero well just follow me

Read the SAGA from

THE VERY BEGINNING

time capsule from heaven - Sunday, Aug. 21, 2011
31 - Saturday, Mar. 15, 2008
Dead/Alive - Monday, Mar. 10, 2008
Do not trustTIAA-CREF-- they are fucking their customers - Friday, Jul. 28, 2006
Shilling - Tuesday, Jul. 11, 2006

Before After