February 27, 2002 | 10:59 AM

7J) ### Thurston Street

Initially there is a lot of smiling all around. A little too much smiling. I play hostess to the hilt. That is what you do when someone is your guest. You offer them beer. You make them dinner. You make them feel welcome.

I swear to God in another life I was a socialite.

And James is a good guest. He drives me to work a lot of the time. He does dishes. Takes out the garbage. He is friendly and easy to get along with.

Penny works at the Stupid Company as an Interviewer to pick up some extra cash while she looks for a real job. She has an interview at the bookstore in Cambridge for a managerial position. It�s a long shot.

She gets the job.

Needless to say she will no longer be working at The Stupid Company.

Good pay. Prestige. Books. What a great opportunity.

We celebrate by drinking bloody marys until 5 AM.

I look back on how broke and fucked up we were just a year and a half before, and I am so proud of Penny and me. I am so proud of her for moving away from her hometown and for finally getting rid of that bastard Alex. I love Penny so much.

And then of course, there is James.

James gets a job as a waiter at a Tex Mex place near government center and quits within three days because the customers don�t tip well enough.

And that�s that.

I don�t see him looking for another job. I don�t see him looking for a place to live. I don�t really see him doing much of anything at all except waiting around the house for Penny to get home from work and chauffeuring John and I around.

Um... wasn�t the purpose of him staying here to get the job and the housing? Wasn�t he supposed to just be here for two weeks?

John and Ronnie aren�t fond of James. He is a red neck, they say. He is a Jesus Lover. He isn�t ironic or clued in to pop culture. He doesn�t listen to good music. He doesn�t even know who The Clash is for chissakes.He doesn�t read. He isn�t looking for another job. He isn�t looking for a place to live. Why exactly is he staying with us again?

Ronnie especially seems annoyed. He hasn�t said anything, but I can sense that something is wrong.

Ronnie... are you OK with James being here?

He hesitates.

I don�t want to rock the boat.

I am taken aback. I wasn�t expecting that.

What do you mean?

Well... wasn�t he supposed to be here for two weeks? Is he going back to Arkansas or is he trying to find a place here? Because it doesn�t seem to me like he�s making a whole lot of effort to do anything besides hang around with Penny. Is he going to be like, the unofficial roommate that doesn�t pay any rent or bills but pretty much lives here because he�s dating someone in the apartment?

Ronnie is saying out loud what I have been thinking for the past couple days. I am silent and he continues.

I mean, when I stayed on my Mom�s couch I paid rent. It sort of bothers me that I bust my ass to make rent so that someone�s boyfriend can live here for free. And I mean, I wouldn�t be so bothered if he didn�t...

Ronnie trails off.

If he didn�t what?

...If he didn�t like stand next to me while I make food and say stuff like, �Geez louise Ronnie, that sure does look good. Boy I sure am hungry.� Like he expects me to feed him. Maybe that�s how shit works in the South, but this is New England. Here you work for your fucking food. I mean, if he were my guest I would feed him. But he�s not my guest. He�s Penny�s guest. It was fine for two weeks but now it�s enough.

I have no idea that this has been going on. I work until nine at night whereas Ronnie gets home a little after five.

Jesus Ronnie. I�m so sorry. That sucks.

He isn�t done talking yet.

Yeah. And the other night he asked me to buy him beer. Not pick something up for him at the Packy mind you, but actually fork over the dough. What is wrong with this fucking guy? If I were in his shoes I would be getting up at 5AM every day putting up fliers and filling out applications. I wouldn�t be sitting in my girlfriend�s room twiddling my fucking thumbs waiting for her to get home from work. And what is that anyway? Poor Penny has to bust her ass working while this, this... guy just sits around at home? Maybe I�m old fashioned. I think if a woman wants to work then hell, she should work. But if anybody�s gonna support anybody, a guy should look after his girl. I can�t fucking stand lazy bastards who make their wives or girlfriends support them. It makes me sick.

After I talk to Ronnie I retire to the back porch to think things through. I smoke cigarette after cigarette. Today is Friday and this weekend James is flying to Arkansas for two days to be at his grandparents� anniversary party. Then he is flying back to Boston, where presumably he will be staying with us. Again. For who knows how long.

All of a sudden I am angry. Why am I in this position? I was just trying to help someone and I now I feel caught between a rock and a hard place. Why isn�t James busting his ass to find a place to live? Why isn�t he looking for a job?

Later that evening I have a talk with John and Ronnie. We all agree that James doesn�t seem like he�s planning on leaving anytime soon. We agree that something must be done. Do we ask him to leave outright? It seems kind of rude and extreme. Anyway, I still do like James, though I am the only one who feels that way. And besides, Penny is one of my very best friends. I don�t want to kick her boyfriend whom she is obviously crazy about out of our home.

We decide that while James is gone we will talk to Penny. I will invite her to a roommate meeting and then the three of us will tell her that we all really like James and it�s nothing against him, but that we don�t want another roommate. We will tell Penny that James has another three weeks to find somewhere else to live, but regardless of whether he has a place or not by that time, he is going to have to leave. This seems more than fair.

The next day is Saturday and as has been the case lately, I am spending much of the weekend working. I call Penny from the Stupid Company. We chat about nothing for a few minutes, and then I attempt a segueway

So, when will James be back from Arkansas?

Oh. He missed his plane. So, he�s not leaving. He�s sleeping right now.

He missed his plane? HE MISSED THE FUCKING PLANE? Great. Just great. Why am I not surprised? Forget the four of us being able to meet alone. James never goes anywhere without Penny.

Listen, Penny. We have to talk.

Penny�s tone is guarded.

What about?

You know I like James...

Uh huh.

Well... when I said James could stay, I�m pretty sure I said he could stay for two weeks. If I didn�t say two weeks I definitely said �a couple of weeks� And it�s been longer than a couple weeks now...

Ugh. This is so awkward. Penny�s discomfort is palpable across the telephone line. She doesn�t say anything so I continue.

It�s not just me. There are other people who live here. I mean, Ronnie...

Penny cuts me off.

Is Ronnie upset about James?

Ok. No bullshit.

Yes. Yes, he isn�t happy about it at all.

Penny is indignant.

Then why doesn�t he say something about it? Why doesn�t he tell me instead of acting like everything is fine?

This irritates me.

Penny, Ronnie doesn�t even know you. He doesn�t know James. He doesn�t have anything to do with James staying here. He doesn�t want to be rude. He wants this to be a nice living situation. Would you say something if the situation were reversed?

Yes. Yes I would

Well anyway, we all thought that tonight we could sit down and have like, a roommate meeting. You know. Not just to talk about this but to like discuss whatever we want to discuss about the apartment. And then we can all talk about everything.

There is silence. So I add,

Nobody�s mad at James or at you. OK?

Penny sounds less than pleased.

Alright fine.

I spend the rest of the day worrying about hurting other people�s feelings.

I actually spend a good deal of my life worrying about other people�s feelings. I go out of my way to not hurt people�s feelings, but it all comes to a head anyway and people�s feelings get hurt.

There were a lot of hurt feelings all around in October of 1999. Lots and lots. And I think mine might have been the most hurt of all.

Note to self: When not hurting other people�s feelings becomes more important to me than speaking my mind or doing what�s right for me, things go very very wrong.

Stay tuned for part the Twenty-Seventh...

If you�re just tuning in and don�t know what the hell this is all about, then you really ought to read the whole thing from the beginning. Click

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