February 20, 2002 | 12:40 PM

7F) ### Thurston Street

Optimally John and I would want to live alone. But as I only make 12$ an hour (yeah�I got a raise!) and John isn�t even sure of what his income will be yet, we opt for roommates.

John and I decide on two roommates for our upcoming lease at the Thurston Street Apartment. The lease will begin in September of 1999.

The first roommate choice is easy..

Penny is back in Arkansas living with her family and working at The Yarn Barn. She is having a miserable time of it and when I ask her to move back to Boston with us she jumps at the chance. We write letters back and forth and I realize how much I miss her. After the fire and her narrow escape from death, she left the city right away and I hadn�t seen her since. She was so kind to me� allowing me to live in her studio apartment at a highly discounted rate, and we got along so well-- other than for the Alex debacle of course. She had broken up with him so many times, but could never quite shake him totally out of her life. Such is the pattern of abusive relationships I suppose.

When Penny left Boston, she left Alex behind for good. This of course didn't stop him from making harassing phone calls to Penny as well as to her family; even her ailing grandmother was on the receiving end of his harassment.

Sometimes Alex would call Penny crying after having fucked another prostitute, begging her forgiveness.

I don�t need to forgive you, Alex. We�re not together anymore. We�re not going to be together anymore. You can fuck as many call girls as you want. Just stop calling my god damned house.

The second roommate we choose is Ronnie Jackson.

Ronnie had recently re-located from Los Angeles after having broken up with his long-term girlfriend. He briefly worked at The Stupid Company as an interviewer before getting a job as a Security Guard. He was currently staying with his mother in her studio apartment while trying to find a place to live.

Ronnie is a huge hulking bear of a man with dark hair and symetrical features. He is is his mid twenties but his blue eyes betray a well of sadness not usually found in someone his age. He has a perpetual five o� clock shadow and a seemingly endless supply of marijuana.

Madeline put it best�

If Ronnie Jackson would care a little bit more about personal hygiene�you know, bathe every once in awhile, he would be totally fuckable.

I am sympathetic towards Ronnie, as I too had been adrift in a city with which I was unfamiliar, struggling towards some kind of stability. He is always playing the clown, but I have a feeling there�s a lot more going on beneath the surface. Everyone likes him but no one takes him seriously� I can certainly relate , and I know what it�s like to continuously crash on people�s couches without a place of your own. Plus, according to lore, his break-up with the girlfriend was messy and heartbreaking. I want to help him.

And also, I know he will be easy going and not insist on having everything his way.

So John and I extend Ronnie and invitation and he is psyched.

The lease is signed. The roommates are set. Only one problem remains.

John�s $7.00 an hour linen room job will end in August. In the past, he spoke to me often about going to grad school or taking the exam to become a teacher in Massachusetts. Barring that he had also expressed interest in pursuing a job related to computers and the internet. Or maybe working at a publishing company. There were a lot of options.

He'd made dean�s list, pursued some respectable extra-curricular activites, took classes related to publishing and computers, spent an entire semester abroad, and had decent job experience; he worked on and off as an interviewer at the Stupid Company and had a leadership position at Summer Conference.

And yet.

And yet.

He refuses to type up his resume.

He refuses to look for a job.

I ask him what he�s planning on doing and he becomes annoyed. His drinking increases. He mopes and whines about not being in college anymore. He stops talking about being a teacher or working in the computer industry.

I do feel bad for him. I remember how devastated I was when I got kicked out of college. Letting go of one part of your life can be really difficult. But...

See the thing is, he graduated..When I was kicked out of school, I didn�t have a pot to piss in. I was homeless. There wasn�t much opportunity for a 19-year-old girl without a college degree.

He on the other hand has amazing opportunities to do whatever he wants. All he has to do is look.

He refuses to look.

He writes sad, bitter songs. One of the songs is called Empty.

Son you�re getting older you can see it in your face

You�ll end up like your father with a fifty-two inch waist

You�re on a crowded train and you cannot find a space to breathe

�Cause your empty....

Son you�re getting lazy and you�re getting tired too

You used to mock the working class but now you�re in their shoes

You hgraduated college and it didn�t make the news

Surprise

�Cause you�re empty...

It is as though he has given up before even crossing the starting line.

I become increasingly concerned.

I go online and look up jobs on hotjobs.com. I mail them to him

Look. Doesn�t this look like a good one? You get to write for a web magazine.

He doesn�t respond.

And then.

And then things get even more disturbing.

Half way through the summer, he starts to ask all these questions. Questions about The Stupid Company.

So... do you think they might need another supervisor at the Stupid Company?

I don�t know but it doesn�t matter because I would rather be shot in the face than have you work the same job as me. Besides, you have a one hundred thousand-dollar education. You can get whatever kind of job you want if you would just fucking look.

The summer drags on. There is no resume. No job interviews. No job.

I begin panicking. This guy signed my lease. He has absolutely no source of income besides the Stupid Company.

Do I want him working there in any capacity?

NO.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

The Stupid Company is my job. I fought tooth and nail for that promotion. I like the autonomy. It was fine that he worked there during school as an interviewer for 10 to 15 hours a week. It is not ok for him to be a Supervisor for 40 hours a week as a career move.

Anna....

Yes?

I�m scared. I don�t know what I want to do with my life. I really really need some time to figure it out.

So what are you proposing?

Well... what if I worked at the Stupid Company as a Supervisor for like a few months while I figure things out. They need one right?

Sigh.

Yeah... they have been talking about hiring another supervisor. Things have been very busy. We do need somebody...

Wouldn�t it be fun for us to work together?

Silence.

I promise it would only be for a couple of months. Like six months at the most.

(No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.)

Well... why don�t you talk to Collin about it. See what he has to say. I don�t want to be a part of this decision as far as you being promoted goes.

John�s face lights up. He throws his arms around me.

Oh honey. Thank you so much. I just really need some time to figure everything out.

A couple of days later he goes to see Collin at the Stupid Company. Collin likes John a great deal. He tells John he�ll get back to him.

A week or so after that, Seth and Collin pull me into a meeting in the conference room. Collin tells me that he has spoken to John about the positron and would like to hire him. Then he says,

I want to make sure this is ok with you, Anna before I make this decision. It�s really tough to be a couple and work together. It ruins a lot of relationships. If you don�t feel comfortable working with John or you think you�ll have problems getting things done, you need to let me know.

I am sweating. I feel so... so pressured. I know that John really wants this. I know he�s terrified of the real world and maybe this would be a way for him to ease into working for a living. I know that Collin and Seth are desperate for more help and John is definitely the best candidate.

Anna, how do you feel about this?

(I think this is the worst fucking idea I�ve ever heard and I totally resent being put in this position.)

I think it�s a great idea. Let�s do it.

So in September of 1999, John becomes a Supervisor at the Stupid Company. He is only supposed to stay for six months.

Now.

Now it is February of 2002 and he still works there, doing the same exact job although his title is slightly different. I have come to accept that of his own free will he will never ever leave.

Six months vs. three years and counting. What�s the difference?

The difference is this.

Resentment. Rage. Anger. Betrayal. Loss of trust. The near- end of a relationship that had been through hell anyway.

And the death of hope on the part of a boy whose world view is now based on the way things run at the Stupid Company.

Sad.

So. Fucking. Sad.

I wish I had a time machine. Because in a heart-beat I would go back. And I would be doing the kindest, most loving thing by saying,

I�m sorry John, but you�re going to have to get your own fucking job just like everybody else on the God damned planet does. And if you can�t afford the rent that�s your problem�not mine. Figure it out for yourself.

But I didn�t.

I didn�t.

And so.

The world as I knew it then ended.

Stay tuned for Part the Twenty-Third

Hey all you Cats and Kittens, wanna see what�s shakin� with the grooviest damned saga around? read from the very beginning. Click HERE

Editor's note: I have not worked at the Stupid company since November of 2000.