February 16, 2002 | 6:24 PM

I'll get back to the saga shortly, but I feel a rant coming on and I just gotta let it out.

John and Jenn went out today and I stayed home, which was fine with me because I was really tired and hungover.

They were out for awhile and I was just playing online.

I got an email message from my mother, the jist of which was, blah blah blah guilt trip blah blah why don't you call home more often blah blah blah.

Needless to say I was pretty upset about it as she has a way of getting under my skin. I love her to death but she can really make me feel like shit. And the thing is I do call home at least once a week.

Jesus.

About 5 minutes later, Jenn and John get home and I was kind of on the verge of tears 'cause I'm lame like that.

Jenn knocked on my door and asked about plans for the evening. I was still kind of reeling from the email, so I told her I wasn't sure what I was up for, but I definitely didn't want to go out drinking in Kendal Square.

She left my room and I decided I was going to go out by myself for awhile. I put on my shoe and while tying it I got a massive charlie horse in my leg so I let out a yelp which may have included an expletive or two.

From the other room Jenn yells, "Is everything ok?" and I was like, "Yeah I'm just having problems with my shoe."

I went into the kitchen to get my coat and Jenn asks, "Oh are you going out?" I answer in the affirmative and she says, "Where are you going?"

I hadn't actually thought of that so I say, "I don't know. Just out."

And out of nowhere she fucking lights into me.

"Just so you know, if you're mad you have no right to be because John and I were out buying your anniversary present."

And she's almost yelling at me. In this really accusatory way.

I was so thrown because I was just upset about the email thing. All I wanted to do was get out of the apartment so I say, "I'm not mad. I'm just tired and hungover."

And she's giving me all of this attitude and she's like, "well you have no right to be mad."

And I'm like, "I'M NOT MAD."

Then I leave the apartment to go get something to eat, and I think to myself,

WHAT THE FUCK? Why does everyone make these fucking assumptions all the time? And then the more I think about it the more pissed I get because she ruined my fucking anniversary surpise (my and John's 6th anniversary is tomorrow) simply because she made this assumption. I didn't even know what it was she assumed I was mad about. That she and John went out? I knew they were going out. They asked me to come and I said no. The whole thing was just so lame.

When I get home of course neither of them are there. I log on to diaryland, and see that John just updated. Here's what his update says,

"The Girlfriend is the Boy Who Cried Wolf of being pissed."

WHAT THE FUCK?????

So they get home and I try to talk to Jenn and I say, "I understand why you might have thought I was mad. I was in a bad mood, but it had nothing to do with you. I got a really crappy email from my mom and I was upset and I just wanted to get out of the apartment. It had nothing to do with you."

And THEN she starts in again, and she says, "Well I'm sorry about that but you were really rude to me and giving me attitude which I didn't appreciate. And I assumed it was because John and I were out together. There have been a lot of times where we come home from being out together and you're mad about it."

Um, what? There was one time a year ago that John and Jenn went out together and he and I had made plans and they were six hours late and trashed, which yeah I was pretty pissed about. But I'm racking my brain and can't think of another time other than that.

I try to tell her this and she sidesteps it and says, "You have a really bad temper and I probably shouldn't have assumed that you were mad at me, but you were being rude and I don't like that. You could have just said you had gotten an email and didn't want to talk about it."

So I try to tie things up again and I say, "If you think I'm mad at you I would really appreciate it if next time you could just ask."

And she says, "I did ask you."

I am so flustered and I ask, "When?"

And THEN she says, "In the kitchen. I asked if you were mad and you said you were just tired."

UM WHAT???? SORRY-- that's not what happened at all.

So I correct her and tell her that she didn't ask, she just assumed I was mad and what she actually said was, "Just so you know, if you're mad you have no right to be because John and I were out buying your anniversary present."

And she is like, "same difference."

So she is missing my entire point which is that instead of jumping down my throat and making assumptions, she could just ASK. And if my Mom wants to talk to me more she can just ASK instead of guilt tripping me.

And so now my fucking anniversary surprise is ruined and everyone thinks I'm a fucking asshole. John is tiptoing around the apartment as I write this trying not the anger me further.

THE WHOLE THING JUST MAKES ME WANNA FUCKING MOVE TO ANOTHER COUNTRY.

The thing is, I am just as guilty of doing shit like that as anyone. I belong to this club of dysfunctional people that jump the gun and draw conclusions without basis of fact. I've done it a million times before, but when it happens to you it just sucks. And it doesn't mean that my Mom is a bad person or that Jenn is a bad person or that I'm a bad person. I love my Mom and I love Jenn and I know they love me. But it sucks when this kind of thing happens and people totally misunderstand you.

God, now my night is ruined.

And now I don't have a fucking anniversary surprise.

Oh well. Boo fucking hoo.

It's now Tuesday the 19th of February at 2:00 PM. I just read this entry over and I sound like a huge brat. Oh well. Bitching is cathartic. In retrospect, it is also emabarrassing, and points to some bratty tendencies on my part.