February 08, 2002 | 4:51 PM

5G)### Com Ave (Kenmore Square)

Joy. Anxiety. Joy. Anxiety.

As the summer closes I hopscotch between the two.

Joy

John and I are really and truly and finally in love. It�s as though the first two years of our relationship were nothing more than a bad dream.

He has transformed in Prince Charming�the scruffy indie rock version anyway. All is forgiven.

I spend almost every night in his summer conference dorm room and every morning he treats me to breakfast in bed. We listen to Robyn Hitchcock and Suzanne Vega albums and we make love every day. We party at Sean�s house and lunch in China Town. We scour record stores for albums we can�t afford and play wiffle-ball in the Common.

One day we find over 100 beers abandoned in a dorm room. We feast on Pabst Blue Ribbon and take-out.

We are living like kings.

Finally�we are in a real relationship.

Anxiety

Penny�s lease is up shortly and she has decided to move back down South to live with the �Rents for awhile. I have to find yet another home. I hide a sock filled with cash in my duffel bag in an attempt to save up money. I only have a couple hundred dollars to put down on an apartment. I know it is not enough.

I read the Phoenix for ads every day and can�t afford the first/last/security to move into any of them. I make frantic inquires among everyone I know. Although I am well liked, people are afraid of me. And rightly so. In my wake I bring tornadoes, earthquakes, plagues. No one will touch me with a ten-foot pole.

I fear that I will be homeless yet again.

And then I have a lead.

Sean is moving to NYC, which leaves a vacancy in his pad. Sarah, one of his four roommates tells me that a decision was made to turn his room into a recording studio, but that everyone there likes me so maybe they will change their mind.

I�d say the odds are 80% you�ll be able to move in.

She says give her some time to convince them.

It is already the beginning of August. Penny�s lease will be up September 1rst.

I have agreed to accompany my family on vacation to Cape Cod. With everything so up in the air I am reluctant to go, but I haven�t left Boston in so long and I am dying for a rest. Besides my newfound romantic happiness, I am so filled with anxiety that I can scarcely function. I am to fly to Rochester and hang out there for a couple of days and then the whole family will drive up to the Cape. It is a roundabout way of going, but I want to spend some time with my grandparents as well.

Before going to the airport I stop by the apartment to pick up some of my things. I look at the sock I�ve stuffed with twenty-dollar bills and wonder whether I should take it home with me. I remember how my Mom got pick-pocketed at LaGuardia when I was four years old, and I decide to leave the money sock at the apartment.

When I arrive home, I am happier to see my family than I ever would have expected. I tell my Mom about what is going on.

Honey, you know you�re welcome to live here at home. You could stay in Rochester and go to Monroe Community. I�m sure there are phone jobs here.

I would rather be roasted over an open fire at the Republican National Convention.

Shortly after arriving home I call Sarah.

Um... I talked it over with everyone. You know, about you moving in?

My heart sinks. I already know what she�s going to say.

Oh.

It has nothing to do with you. We all really like you. But Doug and Jason want their recording studio.

Pause

I�m really really sorry.

Click.

Good-bye home. Good-bye shiny new life. Good-bye second chances.

I sit down on the sofa and weep.

And then.

And then it gets worse.

My mother knows the back story. She knows I just talked to Sarah. She knows by the sound of my weeping that I did not get the apartment.

She knows Sarah�s last name.

She knows where my address book is.

During the throes of my despair I eventually notice that my Mom is on the phone. She is in the kitchen, but I can hear her as she is speaking in a highly charged and hurried manner, and her voice carries.

I understand�. Yes� well of course you have a right to a recording studio�

She wouldn�t.

Listen I am not trying to argue that point� It seems to me that my daughter has a need for a room and you have a room� Well I�m just saying� Maybe you could find it in your heart to help her out�

She would.

I rush into the kitchen and grab the receiver from my mother�s hand. I am beyond horrified. I can feel my face go beet red.

Sarah? I am so sorry about this. I had no idea.

Um� I�m really sorry about the room thing but�

There is another call on the line.

Could you excuse me Sarah? I have to go. I have another call.

I click over. It�s Eric.

Hey what�s up? What are all those sirens�are you on your cell?

Anna, I think you better sit down.

Uh oh. This doesn�t sound good.

I don�t know whether you want to come back to Boston anytime soon.

Why not?

Well because I standing right outside your apartment building. And I�m watching it burn to the ground.

Ladies and gentlemen please give a great big round of applause for... FIRE #2!

Stay tuned for part the fourteenth�

And if you haven�t read the whole saga and want to catch up, click HERE