January 23, 2002 | 11:50 AM

I haven't smoked pot in...

OH MY GOD IT"S BEEN SO LONG I CAN"T REMEMBER.

It's definitely been over a year.

This is sad.

Pot is actually one of the only things I've ever been able to be moderate about besides cigarettes (it's true-- I might go out and smoke a whole pack of camel lights at the bar but then I don't have another one for three weeks and it doesn't bother me at all.) It would be so nice to go home and smoke a joint after work today. Get high and listen to Chopin. Maybe later watch a movie. Go for a stoned walk. Yeah.

Man when I think about it I really really miss it.

I just don't associate with people that do it. Everybody I know is a drinker. Personally, I think pot is far less harmful and dangerous than drinking. People don't murder their loved ones after hitting the bong. People don't go on annoying crying jags after sparking up the bowl. Know what I mean?

The one pot dealer I liked moved to California a couple years ago. This guy was the only dealer I have ever liked. Most of the ones I've ever dealt with have been skeevy, sell garbage, try to scam you, and are totally unreliable. This guy grew his own stuff and he knew everything about marijuana-- respected the plant and respected people who bought from him. I'd go over to his house for a deal and he'd have me sample a couple of different kinds before buying so that I could make an informed decision. His weed was out of this world. I can't imagine having pot any better except maybe in Amsterdam.

He was quite expensive but completely fair. He was also cool, well educated and fun to hang out with. I really looked forward to buying from him.

Too bad he and his fianc�e, a wicked rad stripper/ex-lesbian moved to Los Angeles. I haven't heard from them but SMcGraw says they are engaged and living in some fabulous LA bungalow with a pool and everything.

Good for them. Bad for me.

Jesus I wish I knew where to get some pot. Next thing I know I'll be one of those post-collegiate lamesters who hangs around college dorms trying to ingratiate themselves to frosh. No thanks.

But seriously. I need a good dealer.

Lemmee know if you see one.