January 21, 2002 | 12:21 PM

Today finds me with fewer brain cells than yesterday. And yesterday found me with fewer braincells than the day before that. At this rate, tomorrow will find me in the gutter, clutching a flask of Jack Daniels concealed in a brown paper bag.

I am desperately feverishly hungover. I have gotten drunk three days in a row, which is something I have not done in months and months and for good reason, as my body typically revolts under such circumstances.

As it is doing now.

But I have no regrets.

John, Jenn and I went to the Sunset but the establishment didn't take kindly to us singing along in a loud and lasivious manner to "Voices Carry" and the waiter asked me how many glasses of wine I'd had. At that point I was pretty sober and was rather pissed at the impudence of said waiter, as the Sunset serves beer to frat boys in containers that resemble giant bongs and I've seen whitehatmeatheads stumbling out of there at three 0' clock in the afternoon, so inebriated that tying their shoelaces would have been an impossibility. I was definitely not the drunkest person there by any stretch of the imagination and if I want to sing along with fucking Aimee Mann than I damn well should be able to do so without being hassled by a moonlighting BU Ken Doll sporting an obvious dye job.

From there we went to the Wunderbar which was fancy shmancy but fun. And we listened to an insanely phenomenal jazz band. And I drank some more wine. And we had bread with goat cheese. And the room was lovely and lit with tiny christmas lights. And the world was fine and gorgeous again. Although I have a vague recollection of John braying some silly nonsense about how everyone in the world should just learn to suck it up instead of chasing after impossible dreams. And I yelled at him because that's the most retarded thing I've ever heard in my life and I'm so fucking sick of fatalism and defeatism. And He got all huffy and went to sit at another table but then we got over it and we were happy again.

Then we went home.

And John went to bed and I drank an entire bottle of champagne and Jenn drank more beers and we listened to Aimee Mann records and ate Doritos and pizza.

Today I feel awfully assy. I have gotten the yen for debauchery out of my system. Tomorrow I go back to the gym. And back to sobriety. And back to my lovely ivy leauge job. And back to eating healthfully. And back to being a nice and dutifiul citizen of this fair city.

But today I am just going to bed.