January 17, 2002 | 12:41 PM

So he comes in at 2:30 in the morning and I wake up.

I...I...I...

I left my wallet in the taxi and it's GONE!

He is drunk and he cries.

Poor bear.

Why don't you call the cab company?

I don't know what cab company it is.

Well...you should definitely call your bank and cancel all your credit cards.

Ohhhhhhh!!!! Why did this happened to me????? This is the worst thing that could ever happen. It's so unfair.

At this point Jenn wakes up and knocks on the bedroom door.

Hi. I couldn't help overhearing. You really need to call the bank and cancel your cards.

pause

Well... maybe Katherine will have noticed my wallet and picked it up after I got out of the cab.

Was Katherine drunk?

Yes.

Then don't count on it, honey.

He hides his head under the pillow.

Right now I just want to go to bed. I'm just going to pretend this never happened. I'll deal with it tommorrow.

And it dawns on me that this is how he deals with many things.

Hate my job? Have a beer. Don't think about it. I'll deal with it tomorrow.

Gave up on gradschool? Have a beer. Don't think about it.

Have no money in the bank? Don't balance the checkbook. Have a beer. Bounce checks. Think about it tomorrow. Pay for it tomorrow.

We all do this. We do it to our own detriment.

He is getting better.

He got up and called the bank.