December 16, 2001 | 11:52 AM

The other night I dreamed that I was a slave to this community college student who had supreme power over my online diary.

I was forced to procure mass quanities of cocaine and hookers for him. If I failed to do so, he would either delete my online diary or he would sign into Diaryland as me and write a bunch of terrible racist stuff and people would believe that I wrote it.

This guy looked kind of like the actor who played Dooley in the film, Blow.

Thank God I don't hang out with community college students.