December 13, 2001 | 8:23 AM

I'm feeling a little bit sad today. I think it's because for the past two days I'vre been doing nothing besides eating junkfood, listening to records and watching tv (and going to work, of course-- but I don't really count that as an activity).

I haven't gone to the gym, and going there is part of what has relieved my depression-- all those endorphins racing through me. *Sigh*. I've turned into such a lazy bum.

However the weird thing is that even though I have been living on pizza bites and Ben and Jerry's, I don't seem to have gained any weight. I keep trying on the same pair of jeans every morning to see if there's a difference, and there isn't.

(Yes, I know this is neurotic and defeats all of my feminist principles. So sue me. This kinda shit is hard to shake. Especially having grown up in a household where my mother weighed me religiously every week, and if I gained a pound she wouldn't speak to me for the rest of the day, but was generous enough to bestow upon me wounded glares every time I attempted to speak to her. But more on that some other time.)

I am enjoying my early morning office solitude. It is so nice to have my own god damned office where I can close the door and not be bothered by anyone. I have an 8AM to 4PM schedule and am the earliest person in on my floor, thus for an entire hour I can listen to music without bothering anyone. It is truly one of the greatest perks in the world.

Right now I am listening to "Old Man" by Neil Young. It's one of those songs I've probably heard 8 million times, and yet I am never tired of hearing it. I'm never tired of hearing anything by Neil Young. I hope that when I'm his age I am that cool. He just does not give a shit, man. He does not care what other people think about him. And he has true class.

And now it's on to Beat Happening. I like their later stuff much more than their early stuff. I dunno... I've always had kind of a mixed relationship with that twee rock stuff-- some of it is very good, but just the whole concept ("stunted adolescence is the key to the universe"). I'm listening to the song "Tiger Trap" right now, and I actually think I sam going to change it to something else.

OH... I KNOW WHAT I WANT TO HEAR!!!!!

Ahhhhhh....

Doesn't matter the way you're looking...

Oh Unrest. Oh Isabel.

Unrest would definitely make the list of most unappreciated bands ever. And Isabel is one of the most beautiful songs ever. Listening to it is like reading Auden.

Why can't there be a job where all you have to do all day is listen to music and talk about how much you love it?

The only job better than that would be being able to be in a band full time.

Speaking of which, John and I just bought a digital 8 track, and are almost

ready to begin recording our magnum opus. It is very exciting. Once we are done, Joe is going to get us a big gig at the Skinny and write about us in the Casco Bay Weekly, and we are going to conquer Portland. Well, that's the plan anyway.

Now I am listening to Belle and Sebastian.

Stars of Track and field you are beautiful people

And now I am listening to the Red House Painters.

John really hates this band. Fuck knows why. He says they are too "accessible". Well I don't give a fat fanny how accessible they are. The Red House Painters rule. Have you heard their cover of "I am a Rock", that old Simon and Garfunkle tune? Sheer brilliance.

Allmusic.com lists the Red House Painters as Sad-core. What a great name for a genre of music, huh?

Am now listening to Stevie Nicks. She likes to spin around and around on stage. She must get awfully dizzy.