2001-12-09 | 9:39 a.m.

You know what I really want to do? I want to buy a red vinyl booth from an old diner and put it in my living room. I like shiny vinyl material that looks like somebody painted over it with a glitter pen.

And I want to sit at the fucking booth and listen to Johnny Cash and eat a huge bucket of french fries with tons of salt and heaping spoonfuls of that sugary ketchup they have at McDonalds

(I am not lying-- McDonalds puts more sugar in their ketchup than any other ketchup maker. They also put sugar in their fries and their burgers. Seriously. I know. It's gross. And it's yummy. Ummmmmmm.)

and I want a huge god damned chocolate milkshake that's so thick that if you tried to suck it through a straw your brain matter would implode and your skull would shatter.

And do you know what I don't want?