2001-12-07 | 1:44 p.m.

I have been reading this diary all day. I have fallen in love with this diary the way I fall in love with characters in books.

Except this person is real. Reading his diary is like reading a book cowritten by Bukowski and Nick Hornby.

The guy who writes this diary is a total fucking genius. I have been sitting here in my office, hungover from yesterday's Christmas festivities, poring over his life. He has made my day.

The irony of the situation is that I am the type of "neurotic woman" that he consistently disses in his entries.

We would probably hate each other in real life and he would probably see me as a pain in the ass.

But just for the record:

I don't read books from Oprah's book club

I stayed home from school for 2 days when Kurt Cobain killed himself because I couldn't face a world where Kurt Cobain wasn't playing and writing

I don't have stuffed animals on my desk, on my bed, or anywhere else

I lived in an airport once when I was homeless

If women are more needy and relationship obsessed than men it is because we are fucking brought up and molded to be that way. I am not making excuses or saying that we can't change that situation, but it takes an enormous amount of deprogramming to learn that you don't need a man in your life to be whole, when the entire fucking culture tells you that if you aren't fucking 'gorgeous" and you don't have a man, you might as well not exist.

So to Mike The Hangover Man as much as I love your diary, shut the fuck up about women being crazy attention vacuums, for chrissake.