2001-12-04 | 2:59 p.m.

This entry is going to be kind of like that conversation you have the morning after a one night stand-- you already got to the core of the matter, and now it's on to the bullshit conversation.

I realize that I delved headlong into my neurosis in these past entries-- ranting about my boyfriend (by the way, I am not the kind of girl that has no other interests besides her boyfriend; it's just that the whole thing has been really on my mind lately) and didn't really provide much context about my life, so here is the getting to know you entry:

In brief, I work at Harvard as a marketing coordinator/program assistant for a really amazing program. I love working there. I have been working there for about 5 months. Previous to that, I worked at a marketing research firm which was fine for awhile and then became an incredibly miserable experience where I felt highly unappreciated. My boyfriend worked there as well, and still does. I was laid off around this time last year, which turned out to be the best thing that could have ever happened to me, but has caused much strain and tension in my relationship with my boyfriend for a number of reasons (there is a lot of back story on that, and at some point I will devote a whole entry to it, but not today)

I live with my boyfriend and a fabulous roommate. We are also in band together that has performed at CBGB's among other places. We have been really inactive for the last year due to the above mentioned tension.

I am starting classes this upcoming semester at Harvard, which I am really psyched about.

I love to read, write, perform, drink mass quantities of wine on rare occassions, spend entire days at the movie theater, and listen to music for hours on end by myself while sitting on my bed and staring into space.

Don't these types of entries sound like personal ads? I mean, what do you really need to know about me? Here are some random facts:

Once, Eric Gafney from the band Sebadoh called me a retard at a concert.

There was a short period of time during which I was homeless and I slept in the airport.

I was kicked out of school for never going to any classes besides acting class.

I smoke Camel Lights, but once in a great while I smoke Dunhills.

I believe there is a greater meaning in all of our lives and that we are here to learn certain lessons that we outlined for ourselves before we were even born; I feel that life is a great classroom and we are all here to overcome deep seated fears and limitations brought on my ego and ignorance.

I love Carl Jung, ee cummings, Goethe, and Anne Sexton. I try to read poetry every day because it clears my mind and brings me out of myself.

I like watching junky teen anxty teenager tv shows (even though I am 24 years old) like Dawson's Creek and Felicity. I love the Gilmour Girls.

I unfortunately have a tendency to drift between martyrdom and narcisism.

My favorite foods are french fries with ketchup, malomars, and Chicken French.

I spend a lot of time at the gym working out for the same reason that I read poetry. When I am in shape enough, I am going to start doing yoga.

My dad died when I was 12. My friend Scott died when I was 14. My friend Joel died when I was 18. My godfather died last year. I have a lot of experience with death, although I know people who have had to deal with a lot worse.

I am very very close to my family. I have 2 younger sisters, a younger brother, a mom, a grandpa, a grandma, and a godmother. They all live in Rochester NY.

I am a pisces with an aquarious moon and a libra ascendent. My Myers Briggs type is ENFP.

I remember at least 3 dreams a week. My mother is very psychic and I think I am a little bit psychic too, although I think that everyone has the potential to be psychic but we don't realize it and we don't listen to ourselves.

I went snorkling in the Carribean last year and it changed my life. I have never felt so at peace.

Latelly I have been listening to Grant Lee Buffalo, Nick Drake, They Might Be Giants, Sebadoh, Aimee Mann, Suzanne Vega, Guided by Voices, and Robyn Hitchcock, and in my walkman right now is one of those J.S.Bach classical music compilations where they just have stuff by Bach that everybody knows and the CD costs like 3 bucks.

I try very hard to conquer things that frighten me. I try to be ethical and not hurt other people. I think I've hurt people without ever meaning to or knowing. People have hurt me in the same way.

I think we are all stumbling around blindly looking for the answers, never knowing that the light switch is right within our grasp.

I really really really dislike jello.