Tuesday, Apr. 27, 2004 | 1:05 PM

Dearest,

I�m writing you a letter that I�m not going to give you now�maybe I�ll give it to you later�I don�t know. I don�t want to give it to you now because 1) I think you need space to come to your own conclusions 2) I�m feeling vulnerable enough at the moment.

Here is what I know. I know that I love you. And I know that you love me. I knew that I loved you within ten minutes of meeting you. I think that you are the person for me if there is such a thing. There was a long time where I�d stopped believing in love, stopped believing I was capable of loving�I thought my heart had stopped working and I was afraid that I was never going to be able to give of myself again. And then I met you.. You have shown me what love really is. What we have is a once in a lifetime thing. Maybe I�m being delusional�I don�t know. I know you�ve never had a real relationship before. I know you�re terrified, and I�m prepared to deal with the hurt I�ll experience when you shut me out. But sweetheart, I can�t help but hope that you will come through. That despite being afraid, you�ll recognize that what we have is a gift and you�ll sieze the day and accept it. This is real. I have never been more certain of anything in my life.

Here is what I want. I want to be with you. I want to be with you exclusively. I will give up sex with friends and strangers and I will be with you. I want to take care of you. I want to nurture you. I want to love you. Please let me love you.

I can sit in a room with you and just stare at a wall and be happy. When I saw you Saturday night after not having seen you for a week, I could hardly breathe. And when you told me you loved me I almost fell on the floor. You�ve been opening up like a sunflower and I hope you continue to do so. You are such a beautiful soul and if I could have asked God to create the perfect human being, it would have been you. I often think that I can�t possibly love you more than I already do but every day love grows and fills me up. You have changed me. You have changed my life. And you have given me back myself in so many ways�the person I thought I�d lost. I was damaged and broken and lost. I was spiritually battered and scared to death. You have helped heal me.

You are one of the best things that has ever happened to me.

I went through a season in hell and I never ever thought I would find someone like you. But here you are, and here I am. And I know�I just fucking know that we�re meant to be together.

I�m terrified that you�re going to break my heart, but I�m willing to take the risk. Are you?

Love,

Anna

PS�Sunday night was one of the most romantic things that has ever happened to me.