November 07, 2002 | 3:56 PM

Third day of this cleanse.

Depression is alleviating. Eyes are brightening even more than they were. Weight falling off (lucky me�I only gained back a couple of pounds from the last cleanse.)

It is always shocking to me when I am confronted with how bio-chemical depression really is. When I am depressed, I�ll attach my depression to something�say, missing a person or not feeling I�ve done enough in my life blah blah blah. But then, when I go on the cleanse, suddenly I�m not depressed anymore even though nothing has changed except what I am putting in my body.

It�s remarkable.

I really feel like eating today though. It�s so hard not to. There are these free ham and cheese sandwiches with Dijon mustard and lettuce and tomato on rye bread in the kitchen at work and I want one.

But every time I pass by and want to stuff one in my mouth, I think to myself,

When I get off the cleanse, I can have whatever I want to eat�anything at all. But right now it�s important that I detoxify, and think of how awesome I�ll feel and cute I�ll look after just two weeks.

And that satisfies me.

I�ve had to tell myself that a lot today.

After work I am walking over to the box office to pick up the tickets for tomorrow�s Barbara Bonney concert (Mozart and Haydn�woo hoo) and then to Bread and Circus to replenish my lime juice, maple syrup, and tea supply. And then I will walk home across the bridge to Cambridge.

It�s cold out today, but lovely.

When I get home I will make myself some yogi tea and write an email to J. and maybe I�ll take a nice hot bath with the lavender salts my mom sent me.

And then I�ll read or watch the X files DVD�s. And I�ll wear my flannel pajamas and feel all cozy and snuggly and warm in my apartment.

God I can�t wait �til Christmas time comes and it snows and I can have people over for homemade hot chocolate and cookies and warm alcoholic beverages.