March 22, 2002 | 1:13 PM

Apologies, apologies, You Princes of Maine. You Kings of New England,

I actually am WORKING HARD today and don�t have time for a SAGA update. However, I am stealing this survey idea from Estree.

15 years ago I...

1. Had the role of a German Jewish refugee in an original play entitled, Liberty Invasion. I had to learn some Yiddish for the part.

2. Was a tomboy.

3. Was blessed with having two living, married parents. They fought a lot and had their problems, but they loved each other and overall I had a positive childhood. I worshipped my father.

4. Began developing an eating disorder.

5. Had my first boyfriend.

10 years ago I...

1. Lived in terror of my stepfather, whom my mother had married after my father�s death.

2. Was suicidely depressed.

3. Started smoking cigarettes. Marlboro Lights. They were $2.50 a pack.

4. Played Mama Rose in my high school�s production of Gypsy

5. Was bulimic.

5 years ago I...

1. Didn�t have a home

2. Owned one red dress that I wore over and over again for months.

3. Began working at The Stupid Company

4. Had writer�s block

5. Felt I was a failure and a disappointment.

2 years ago I...

1. Worked 65 hour weeks at the Stupid Company and was terrified to leave.

2. Was insecure and uncertain of what I wanted from life.

3. Tried hard to please other people.

4. Moved from Somerville to Allston.

5. Was diagnosed with major hypothyroid.

1 year ago I...

1. Was interviewing for my current job at Harvard.

2. Went on a life changing vacation to San Andreas.

3. Began asserting myself

4. Slowly but surely started writing again.

5. Joined a gym.

Yesterday I...

1. Went to my metaphysics class.

2. Worked out at the gym

3. Drank two glasses of cabernet

4. Read Michael Moore�s new book, Stupid White Men

5. Wrote for three hours.

Today I...

1. Feel truly blessed and lucky to be alive.

2. Am planning on knocking back some delicious cocktails later this evening.

3. Will call my grandparents.

4. Will hold my boyfriend while he sleeps.

5. Have an endocrinologist appointment.

Tomorrow I will...

1. Go out for dinner and drinks with Suki

2. Lift at the gym

3. Listen to The Shins all morning

4. Shag my boyfriend

5. Play outside.

Five Items I have Brand Loyalty To

1. Malibu Rum

2. Camel Lights

3. Toms of Maine toothpaste (cinnamon)

4. Doc Martens

5. Chuck Taylors

(I don�t really have too much brand loyalty. The concept kind of freaks me out. It has to do with being brainwashed by the marketing strategies of evil corporations. Everything�s basically the same shit anyway.)

Five Snacks I Enjoy

1. French fries with salt, vinegar, and ketchup

2. Ben & Jerry�s Concession Obsession ice cream

3. Malted Milk Balls

4. Chicken fingers

5. Long Island Iced Teas

Five Songs I Know The Words To Even Without The Lyrics

1. Think Let Tomorrow Be by Sebadoh

2. Precious Things by Tori Amos

3. Working Class Hero by John Lennon

4. Suspect Device by Stiff Little Fingers

5. Jumping Someone Else�s Train by The Cure

Five Games I Like

1. Head games

2. The SIMS

3. Egyptian Rat Screw

4. Baseball

5. Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon

Five Albums That Changed My Life

1. Jane�s Addiction�Nothing�s Shocking

2. Nirvana�Nevermind

3. The Smiths�Louder Than Bombs

4. John Lennon�Plastic Ono Band

5. Sebadoh�Bubble and Scrape

Five things I Cannot Live Without

1. Sex

2. Time alone

3. Music

4. Books

5. Love/ Wine (tie)

Five Things I Would buy With One Thousand Dollars

1. Partial down payment on my next apartment

2. Books

3. CD�s

4. Drugs

5. Donate to Green Party

Top Five Guilty Pleasures

1. Making obscure pop culture references

2. Snarky comments

3. Madonna

4. Kissing girls

5. Smoking

Top Five Musicians Lately (what�s in my CD Player)

1. Guided By Voices

2. The Smiths

3. Joni Mitchell

4. The Shins

5. Sleater Kinney

Top Five Locations I�d Like To Run Away To

1. Swinging London circa 1966

2. Grenwich Village circa 1962

3. Paris circa 1925

4. Olympia Washington circa 1988

5. Berklee California circa 1966

Five Things I�d Never Wear

1. Penny loafers

2. One of those T-shirts that say �Babe� or �Rock Star� or �Bitch� in glittery letters

3. tight stone washed jeans

4. A bikini

5. A sweatsuit

Five People Who Are Currently On My Bad Side

1. Kenny Boy Lay

2. Dubya

3. Brittney Spears

4. Rupert Murdoch

5. John Silber

Five Bad Habits I Have Are...

1. I don�t consider any of my habits bad. If anything they are merely misunderstood.

Five TV shows I like

1. Six Feet Under

2. Queer As Folk

3. The Gilmore Girls

4. Law & Order

5. The Awful Truth

Sheesh. That was written over the course of five hours between doing other work.

Just filling in the concentration gaps, kiddies.

Will do SAGA update on psychotic behavior at Party over next day or two...