February 28, 2002 | 3:29 PM

I stole this idea from Outer-Jessie. Here is my second non SAGA update of the day. Ladies and Gentlemen I bring you...

1. My mother is a psychic-new-age-therapist. She used to be a psychiatric nurse and before that she was an actress. She studied at the Central School of Drama in London.

2. My father was a Technical Writer/Editor but what he really wanted to do was write poetry. The month before he died he wrote hundreds and hundreds of poems. His favorite writer was John Updike. He had a picture of John Updike in his office at home. In the picture, John Updike has his hand to his face, and his nose is in between his splayed ring and middle fingers. It is a very neat picture.

3. The best class I ever had was AP English. One day, Mrs. Green gave this lecture encompassing Hamlet and The Catcher in the Rye and The Mayor of Casterbridge and The Centaur (speaking of Updike). I wish I could have taped it but then again I don�t. Because I like to remember the enchantment I felt. It was as though I was under a spell and listening to it over and over again would ruin it.

4. The album I was listening to on the bus this morning was, Oh Inverted World by The Shins.

5. I am a sappy sort of person. Here are a couple of embarrassing songs that occasionally cause me to tear up, although I would never ever admit to liking any of this music: Candle in the Wind by Elton John, Boys of Summer by Don Henley (you know the part where he goes Out on the road today I saw a dead head sticker on a Cadillac/ A little voice inside my head said don�t look back you can never look back) Yes. I know. Let us never speak of it again.

6. Here are some famous people I have met: Robyn Hitchcock, Lou Barlowe (HE KISSED ME! HE KISSED ME! on the cheek, but stil...) John S. Hall (twice dude�three years apart. What, I ask you, are the chances of that?) Courtney Love.

7. Ted Kennedy hit on my Mom. Gross.

8. My grandmother was helped into a streetcar by Franklin Delano Roosevelt.

9. Speaking of my grandparents, they are two of my best friends in the world.

10. My uncle is an astrologer.

11. I was very involved with theater as a kid. I was usually in two or three plays a year. Sometimes I got paid and sometimes not. Here are some of the plays I was in as a kid: The Children�s Hour (I was Mary, the evil one. Great great play. Still love it.), The Best Christmas Pageant Ever, The Little Mermaid, Really Rosy, Liberty Invasion, and The Green Rose. When I was four I auditioned for the Broadway touring company of Annie. The part I auditioned for was Molly, the youngest orphan. I made the top twenty but then I got cut because I didn�t know how to read yet. When I was nine I did two radio commercials. One for National Car Rental and one for Bill Gray�s Restaurant.

12. I took five years of piano and I still suck. I have also studied opera and I went to college for acting/writing but never finished. �Loved my acting classes, though.

13. My eyes are hazel.

14. I can read tarot cards really really well.

15. One day when I was 13 years old I went to the record store and bought three albums: Jane�s Addiction�s Nothing Shocking, The Dead Kennedy�s Bed Time For Democracy, and The Cure�s Disintegration. My life was changed forever when I realized that good music didn�t stop being made after the Beatles broke up, it just stopped being played on the radio.

16. I voted for Ralph Nader in 1996 and in 2000.

17. The only Republican who doesn�t make me completely ill is John McKane�not that I would vote for him.

18. I have made out with two women, one of whom I slept with.

19. I have slept with four men and fucked around with more than I can remember. My guestimate would be somewhere around 75.

20. I have probably been on every single diet you have ever heard of.

21. The first time I did acid was New Years Eve my junior year in high school in a shitty motel in Rochester NY with my friends Heidi and Katie. We listened to The Doors live double album. I never liked the Doors much before or since, but on that day they were the greatest band of all time.

22. My mother is Jewish and my father was Irish Catholic. My dad disliked the church although a lot of his poetry incorporated a great deal of religious symbolism. Once the church gets its claws into you I guess it doesn�t let go to easily.

23. Roger & Me is one of the greatest movies of all time. John bought it for my birthday one year and then he lent it to his friend Rita who never gave it back. I am still mad about this, as once a month or so I have an urge to watch it.

24. I have been to France, Canada, and Columbia�yes, that Columbia. The one with the drugs.

25. I don�t really like the South very much. However, I think Athens Georgia is probably one of the coolest places in the world. I�ve never been there but that�s what I hear.

26. My ex- Stepfather was a complete and total nut job.

27. News bulletin: I hate being fat.

28. I love lifting weights.

29. I don�t really understand why everyone loves I love Lucy. I know it was like pioneering and whatever, but I find it really boring and obnoxious and I can�t make myself sit through an entire episode.

30. I have three siblings: a 19 year old sister, a 17 year old brother, and a 10 year old sister. My 10 year old sister is a half sister, but I don�t think of her any differently than my other siblings. I am very very close to all of them.

31. I am a pisces with an acquarious moon and a libra ascendent. I have a T square in my natal chart which means that I am deeply conflicted and am consistently pulled in opposing directions. People with T squares are usually highly charismatic and they either become extremely successful and evolved or they royally fuck up. Time will tell, ladies and gentlemen. Time will tell.

32. I definitely don�t eat enough vegetables.

33. In high school I had jet black hair and wore bright red lipstick. I was fond of babydoll dresses and knee socks with Doc Martens. Truth be told I still am, but unfortunately I am not in any shape to pull it off. I am always jealous in a highly infantile way when I see someone dressed in my former style.

34. I am perfectly happy to spend three straight days doing nothing but watching videos. If I could have a three day straight movie marathon starting right now (16 hours a day= roughly 8 movies per day=24 movies), here are the 24 movies I would watch: Roger & Me, Bullit, Requiem for a Dream, Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, Trust, Eight Men Out, Cat On a Hot Tin Roof, Raiders of the Lost Arc, Kicking and Screaming, Before Sunrise, Klute, On The Waterfront, The Jerk, The Manchurian Candidate, Equus, Rock �n� Roll High School, Peggy Sue Got Married, Goodfellas, Network, Bring It On, 12 Angry Men, Sense and Sensibility, Paris Texas, and Toy Story II.

35. My family has two cats, Barnum & Jules. We�ve had many cats over the years. I love cats, but can�t have one now because John is highly allergic to them.

36. I am nosy and I gossip too much.

37. I hate talking on the phone.

38. I have an iron will yet my natural inclination is to be lazy.

39. I would rather be alive during almost any period of the last century than this one. I think I would have fit in especially well during the 20�s, the 40�s, or the 60�s. Even the 80�s would be fine do to the punk rock/indie scene in this country. The only thing I like better about this time period than any other is that I can use the internet. And that civil/gender rights are somewhat more equal now. Or rather that laws are now in place to enforce the equal protection of all people (except of course homosexuals who still get screwed). But I don�t think attitudes have changed all that much. Quite frankly I believe that misogyny is at an all time high, and racism is ingrained in our very bones at this point. And regardless of Will & Grace gay people are discriminated against in a manner that makes me physically ill. Inequality exists in a far more subversive way than it has in the past, and I am not sure whether things are really that much better. This saddens me in an unspeakable way.

40. It bothers me that not having a college degree is a door slammed in the face of many opportunities.

41. I used to be an excellent gymnast when I was younger. Now I am not an excellent gymnast. At this point I don�t think I could even do a somersault.

42. I am a great swimmer.

43. If I could change one thing about my life it would be that my dad never died.

44. When I see parents yelling at or hitting their children I have to restrain myself from interfering.

45. I am disgusted by the corporatization of this country. And I am equally disgusted that so many people are asleep at the switch, or have (as Ralph Nader so eloquently stated on The Daily Show) �been under the influence of self administered valium� when it comes to looking out for the public interest� (i.e. the Enron scandal.)

46. When I was in nursery school I got into a semi serious sledding accident involving my face and a brick wall. I had a fat lip and a black eye and numerous cuts and bruises. I looked a fright for weeks and weeks.

47. I hate walking with people who insist on walking really really fast or really really slow. It makes me nervous.

48. I love being near the ocean. I can feel my strength drain when I am far away from a large body of water.

49. When I was a 6 years old, I was completely fascinated with strippers. I fanaticized about being a stripper; lord knows how I even knew what a stripper was. I did a strip show down to my panties and undershirt for my friend and her brother. Please keep in mind that there wasn�t anything sexual about this�I just thought that taking your clothes off and dancing was really cool and freeing. I told my mom about it and she flipped out and told me that if I did things like that strange men would try to hurt me. This gave me nightmares for weeks, and I filed the experience under the Possible Reasons Why I Am Neurotic section of my psyche.

50. If I had a lot of money, I would make sure that my house was filled with flowers every day. I love roses and daffodils and lilies and irises. I also love trees. And what I love more than anything is the way it smells when the earth thaws from Winter into Spring.

51. Relating back to the tree/flower thing: I love living in the city, but I wish I could have a house with a yard. I miss having a garden. I miss sitting on the grass behind my house and reading a book or laying down and staring up into the sky.

52. I expect everyone to make a big deal of my birthday. My birthday is not just one day. It is a season, like the holiday season. Some people hate their birthdays, which I don�t understand at all. To me, each person�s birthday should be a celebration of how special and unique his or her life is. I don�t care about presents. I just want people to appreciate me. And on other people�s birthdays I appreciate them. When John turned twenty I bought him twenty presents and hid them in different places all over the apartment. Then I took him to see a double feature at the Brattle. The double feature was called America Berserk or something like that, and the two movies were Dr. Strangelove and The Manchurian Candidate. Then I took him out for Chinese. I haven�t really topped that since, which I feel bad about. Every summer it seems there�s some kind of financial crisis or reason to save a massive amount of money, and so he doesn�t get the big shebang he deserves. John is the king of doing amazing things on my birthday. He tops himself consistently.

53. I have scars on my thighs from a medical experiment I was involved in, for which I was paid $600.

54. As a kid I stole change from my mom�s purse.

55. I pick up on accents very easily without even meaning to. Within an hour of hanging out with a Brit I�m speaking the King�s English. It�s not something I can control. It�s actually rather embarrassing.

56. I have a habit of trying to save people, which is actually a highly condescending and insulting way to treat someone. So I try to mind my own business unless somebody asks me for help. Old habits die hard, though.

57. I am at once incredible vain but horribly insecure. This is not a pretty combination personality wise, but I am the mastermind at covering it up. You wouldn�t know either of those things unless we were really tight. Paradoxically, I also have a deep well of confidence and although I am easily stung and highly sensitive to the beliefs and criticisms of others, when it comes down to it I really don�t give a flying fuck what anyone else thinks.

58. I rock back and forth. When I was a kid everyone on the bus would chant, �Anna Banana Rocking Chair� because I would rock in my seat. And I would cry and tell them to shut the fuck up. When I was 8 or 9 I made a concerted effort to stop rocking in public and for the most part it took, but I still rock. I don�t feel comfortable unless I�m in constant motion and sometimes I sit on my bed and listen to music and I just rock back and forth for hours.

59. I have a hard time falling asleep without a lot of background noise.

60. I have the greatest office job in the whole world. It is as though someone designed this job for me personally, keeping in mind all of my neurosis and pet peeves, and the fact that I would much rather be out singing/writing/painting/drinking/exercising than working 9 to 5.

61. I am a sucker for junk food.

62. I despise sushi with all my being. I don�t understand why anyone in their right mind would eat raw fish on purpose.

63. Does anyone remember the TV show, The Tomorrow People? I do.

64. My great grandfather was a communist. He used to get arrested for handing out leafletts on the streets of Rochester during the 30�s.

65. My great grandmother was a suffragette.

66. I hate The D.A.R.E. program and I think drugs should be legalized. Drug addicts are the most boring people in the world. Come to think of it, so are potheads. Don�t get me wrong, I love pot. But I�m talking about those people who can�t do anything without smoking up first. I should know. I lived with one.

67. I dislike gold jewelry and I also am not fond of diamonds.

68. My father used to take me to the movies at least once a week.

69. When I paint my fingernails, I spend the entire day picking off the polish.

70. I like long hot baths with fancy foaming bubble stuff and candles. I like listening to Coltrane or Sonny Rollins or Chopin while I take a bath.

71. I am a kissing freak. I could do nothing but kiss someone for hours and hours. I think kissing is the hottest thing in the world. I miss the days of just sitting on a couch and kissing someone when nothing else was expected. I love sex and am actually the easiest lay ever, but kissing does it for me.

72. When and if I ever get married, I am never ever ever changing my last name. I think the expectation that a woman should change her name to a man�s is so insulting and absurd. It�s a personal choice and I�m not upset by other women making a different decision, but my take on this matter is something I feel to the core of my being. John keeps trying to get me to change my mind about this, which really pisses me off. There is nothing in the world that could make me give up my name. Your name is a symbol of your identity and your heritage.

73. Did Barnie the Dinosaur ever seem kinda like a big purple child molester to you? Yeah, I felt that way too.

74. In high school I got A�s in what I liked in D�s in what I didn�t. At least I was honest right? No, it took me a long time to figure out that you actually do have to do things in this world that you don�t like doing. I paid a high price for not having learned that fact earlier.

75. I have no problem with going to a nice restaurant by myself, eating a delicious meal, and reading.

76. I behave differently around different people. Not because I�m being fake but because I tune in to people really easily and I have many sides to my personality. I don�t think I�ve ever met anyone who has seen everything about me. Even John. Though he thinks he does.

77. I love Christmas carols and other sentimental cheesy shit like that.

78. I have no tolerance for apathy. Political or otherwise. In national affairs or in your own life, if you�re not part of the solution your part of the problem.

79. I tend towards highly extreme behavior.

80. I love boys with glasses and Chuck Taylor sneakers or Vans.

81. Tom Waits is one of my personal heros.

82. Eva Le Gallienne is another personal hero. She was a famous stage actress near the turn of the century who started her own bohemian repertory theater company that performed everything from Chekov to JM Barry. She was an out and proud lesbian, although she did once have an affair with Basil Rathbone of Sherlock Holmes fame�another personal hero. She didn�t give a fig what people thought of her. She was brilliant, beautiful, daring, and independent during a time when women were supposed to be weak and subservient. If you want to read her biography, click Here

83. I am in a band. The band has performed many places. Lately we have done nothing as the other person in the band (John) has a totally different schedule from mine and we are both wrapped up in our own lives. Plus, we lost momentum. There is a strong possibility that we will be playing soon for an Amnesty International Benefit. I�ll keep you posted. Hopefully, something will jar us back to life.

84. I am not the easiest person to live with.

85. I can drink all of you under the table.

86. My office walls are covered with pictures of my family and friends.

87. This is of my favorite books.

88. This is another one of my favorite books.

89. I am 5�6�

90. I live in constant fear of being destitute.

91. My friend�s father was killed on 9/11.

92. I don�t care about sports that much but I love the Red Sox with a fierce devotion I would not have believed myself capable of. I watch 80-90% of their games.

93. I have a mouth like a sailor and I tend to swear at inappropriate times.

94. I love to draw and paint though I am sorely lacking the talent for either.

95. I loved Little Women when I grew up as well as all the Frances Hodgson Burnett books, Lucy Maude Montgomery�s entire catalouge, Laura Ingalls Wilder, Louis Carol, Peter Pan, Hans Christian Anderson and The Grimm Brothers, Tolkien, Jane Eyre, and The All of a kind Family. When I was very small my Mom read me books about Frances who was this little bear that liked bread with jam and enjoyed skipping rope, and my father read me How The Trollusk Lost His Hat over and over and over again. My dad also read me Hemingway when I was ten. I am very very lucky.

96. I am far more New York than LA. I would�ve been San Francisco before the yuppies took over or Seattle before Starbucks. Boston suits me pretty well as it caters to all aspects of my fractured personality. The rents are outrageous though, but thankfully it�s losing the glossy corporate sheen brought on by the economic boom. I am thankful for the recession if only for that reason.

97. Once I found a wallet and I didn�t turn it in. I still feel horrible about it. I didn�t use the credit cards or anything. I just kept the money. I know. I know. Horrible, right? What can I say. I was destitute at the time. That�s still no excuse though.

98. I loved slumber parties as a kid and I still love them. I want to have one.

99. I always always always have a song running through my head. If I don�t watch out I�ll start singing it mid verse right in the middle of something important, like a meeting a work. I have a hard time paying attention when I am bored.

100. There are very few careers for me because I have lost the ability to pretend I care about something that is irrelevant as well as the ability to kiss anyone�s ass.

I�ll get back to the SAGA tomorrow. I just needed a breather.