January 04, 2002 | 1:05 PM

I went in to work early and did all of the shit that absolutely had to be done today, which took me three and a half hours, and then I left. I have a 101 degree fever. I am so fucking glad to be home right now. In a few minutes I am going to get into bed and watch "My So Called Life". Later I might buy some brandy and drown the virus in alcohol. I don't know whether that works or not but it sure as hell will make me feel a lot better.

I am still thinking about the conversation I had with Jenn last night (Read this entry) I am still upset about the whole thing, and it's causing me worry, which in turn is annoying the shit out of me. Why am I worried about something that isn't my fault? It's John's fucking problem-- not mine.

This is a very weird time right now. I feel very much in between phases of my life. Nothing feels quite normal; it's like being on a very boring acid trip.

I hope Sean moves up in the Fall. I think that would make things more interesting.

I miss what life used to feel like when I was playing shows all the time and hanging out with colorful folk. I would like to have that again, sans the stupid company connection of course.